Since you left...

💓💓💓

It's been a month since you left
It's been hard, you know?
Where are you?
We're all trying... trying to be strong

Sometimes I forget and then reality hits in the middle of a hearty laugh
Reality hits when someone mentions your name
The dark cloud people talk about forms above my head
Its weight on my back, my chest

I want to cry but I can't
I can't fathom it from the depths of my soul
I want to reach in and sweep the sadness out
These things get better in their own time. "Don't force it.", they say

I guess I can wait
In the meantime, I will hold the memories close
Like the jokes you'd make at random times and laugh at yourself
I miss those jokes. There are "Dad Jokes" and then there are "Grandfather Jokes"

I can still hear your voice. Maybe I'm dreaming and you really are still here with us?
I can hear you laughing. That laugh...
I can see you in your corner, feet up, CNN humming in the background
I see you're dozing off or are you exploring something new on your phone that you brag to us about?

"You can call on your dearly departed for guidance..."

May your spirit guide us through life. This beautifully brutal life. Life hurts us but she also loves us. I love her too and for you, I will keep moving forward

P.S.
Your best friend, the love of your life... She's doing much better. Much better than one month ago. She'll be okay

I love you so much. We all do 💞



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