A Friend's Perspective : Ghosting

Hello my virtual people. Apparently my post on ghosting inspired someone. *a loud enthusiastic yaaaay is shouted*
So I present you, my friend's story.

👻👻👻

IS IT A RELATIONSHIP OR SITUATIONSHIP?

For a long time, I had confused ‘situationships’ with relationships. They say when you are young you don’t really know the true meaning of love. As women, most times we confuse love with infatuation. The same applies to men too.

Just because a man is treating you with care, it does not mean that he loves you. Believe me, I have been through this. This may not apply to every person.

Well, my story is different. It has been a sad experience with mixed emotions and bad decisions. The guy that I supposedly was in ‘love’ with is a whole lot of things to describe. At first, he appeared to be a nice guy. We would talk and hang out with lots of communication between us but as time went by, a lot changed. It all started with less communication. Days would go by with no phone calls, no messages and not knowing his whereabouts. I was there thinking that maybe he was busy so I gave him time because I didn’t want to seem like a nagging person.

After a while, he shows up saying sorry and a bunch of sweet nothings but I still gave him the benefit of the doubt and so it was on again. As time passed by, it dawned on me that maybe this is not what a relationship is meant to be like. So I gained the strength to ask him where the relationship is at and I was hit with “Let’s take things easy” and “You know you are so special to my heart” blah blah blah. This whole time he had never addressed me as his girlfriend or showed me that he truly loves me but here he was telling me that I meant so much to him and I hold a special place in his heart. Ladies never fall for that. I was naïve to believe it once but never again. The funny thing is that you may fall for it, things go back into normal and in your head you are thinking "he is the one, my soulmate."

Then all over again, the same cycle starts again. He becomes even more distant with little to no communication and whenever he wants to see you, it’s only about sex. Arguments begin to arise between the two of you and the blame game starts. Now this is where it hurts because your self- confidence is on the low, there is constant emotional abuse and it soon becomes physical abuse. You are left with guilt in thinking of where you went wrong and so you try to make things work but it gets worse. The guy goes ghost on you, completely silent!

The hardest part is moving on but you have to. It’s not easy but you try. Slowly as weeks turn to months and months turn to years, you became a whole new person. At some point, you may happen to meet the same person or a different person with the same characters but please do not ever think that they will change for you. Change is a gradual process and if that man or woman loves you for you, he or she will make the effort to make it work, to love you. If you have ever experienced this or maybe you are experiencing this now, it may be on a different context than mine, but please DO NOT allow someone to use you or make you feel less of yourself. Also, please listen to your instincts. That feeling that you get knowing that something is off is always right. Do not ignore it. To the people who do this, just know that what you put to the world you will get back. As they say, Karma is a Bitch.