Just life and stuff

It's been a while and time has gone by very fast. Please bear with the randomness that is this post. I feel like a dog by the window of a car, feeling the rush of wind in my face. Just like a dog, I seem to be enjoying life's wind. It carries with it bits of small stones that hit me in the face but that's okay. The pain dies down fast. The wind carries with it a heavy rain that could drown me, but that's okay. I can grow some gills. The wind carries with it a foul smell, but that's okay. My nose grows a filter and the air is fresh again. The wind also carries with it sunshine. It gives me energy to go on. It gives me good health. The wind carries with it a cool breeze. I am at peace with who I am. I love life and she loves me back. The wind sends me messages of encouragement. She says, " It's okay. It's okay." And I close my eyes and take in the positive vibes. I really love dogs I want to cry but I don't know why. Tears of happ...

I turned 23 a few days ago. I am freaking out. 2018 has been crappy. There were good times. Those really good times that I hardly remember now. Despite all this, I am happy to say that I've learned some lessons. Good lessons. The year started on a sick note. Depression followed for a while. There was a constant state of frustration and feeling stuck. I was not being as me as I should have been. As the year ends, I look back and I see that I have come such a long way. Many of us have. Not Everything Goes as Planned Before 2018 started, I had expectations for how I wanted my life to unfold. Soon I was slapped hard by reality’s big spiky hand and reality showed me otherwise. “Damn. I hate this life”, I said to myself every day for more than half a year. Things Fall into Place when you’re ready On the bright side, you will begin to slowly see the good stuff in life, if you choose to. Something was happening. I was inside my dark mind. It was terribly cold ...

I would like to feel as free as a bird... imagine the sky to yourself I’m humming away to a song when my sister asks, “How do you do that?” Confused, I ask her what she means and she says, “You’re humming to the bass in the background. How is that??” Oh, I hadn’t realized when that happens. As a result, I’m now more self-aware when listening to music and humming along. I now listen to each and every instrument I can hear and I marvel at how those small bits and pieces create the existence of the song and make it what it is. Without that one beat or instrument it would sound entirely different. Would you notice the difference? When you listen to a song, do you imagine what it would sound like on a certain instrument? I do. I mostly imagine myself with a violin, lost in the waves of the notes I play. My heart comes to life and I feel enlightened. I must say that it is unfortunate that I fell back on mastering the violin. When you listen to a song, do you listen for ...

You know that feeling when you're close to moving on from something, like a heartbreak? It feels like finally letting go of the pee you've been holding in after a long car ride. The way it happens, is so smooth, you hardly notice. At first you can't last a few minutes without thinking about it but one moment you just realise that you have gone for days without thinking of the situation. The days become weeks and the memories melt away. Your chest feels a warmth that you can't explain. You feel content with yourself. You listen to songs that used to bring back memories and made you cry, but now you sing along smiling and feeling proud that you made it! I can't explain how this feels. You remember that person and feel nothing. No hate, no love just nothing. You may meet them but they are now like any other person. When they say "I miss you", you say "k then" and that's it. Damn, it feels good. Sometimes you want to unleash your i...

i have just been hit by a memory. i was a child with my mother. i can't remember where exactly we were but it was a place like an office or something. i was soon to go on a train trip to Mombasa with my schoolmates. it was a scouts thing and i was either a brownie or a girl-guide. one of my mothers' friends gave me sweets. thanks. the train trip day arrived. we boarded and i got my seat. i was sitting with my friends but i only remember one friend. her name is V*. through my window i could see sweet mother on the platform, i think with V's mother. i cried. and i remember what i felt in that moment. i didn't want to be away from my mother but the train was moving and she was getting further and further away. as i was waving and crying, i read mother's lips and it was something like, "why are you crying?". of course i couldn't answer and i was a bit embarrassed i mean my friends were in a great mood. i think V comforted me and i felt better. long s...

Hello my virtual people. Apparently my post on ghosting inspired someone. *a loud enthusiastic yaaaay is shouted* So I present you, my friend's story. 👻👻👻 IS IT A RELATIONSHIP OR SITUATIONSHIP? For a long time, I had confused ‘situationships’ with relationships. They say when you are young you don’t really know the true meaning of love. As women, most times we confuse love with infatuation. The same applies to men too. Just because a man is treating you with care, it does not mean that he loves you. Believe me, I have been through this. This may not apply to every person. Well, my story is different. It has been a sad experience with mixed emotions and bad decisions. The guy that I supposedly was in ‘love’ with is a whole lot of things to describe. At first, he appeared to be a nice guy. We would talk and hang out with lots of communication between us but as time went by, a lot changed. It all started with less communication. Days would go by with no phone call...